Depression: why do I feel bad in the morning and feel better in the evening?

Depression is a difficult experience. Especially when it repeats itself. It has this peculiarity: quite often those who experience depression feel worse (“bad”) in the morning, and feel better in the afternoon. Why is that?

The first question is what is depression? As a psychologist and psychotherapist, I see in this condition, or, as psychiatrists say, disorder, primarily a manifestation of a stable, habitual way of thinking and feeling. When a stressful event occurs in a person’s life, or has once happened, most often something goes in conflict with his deepest attitudes and ideals, he begins to think about it. More precisely, a person experiences violent emotions: horror, sadness, hopelessness, anxiety - and begins to form certain thoughts against this background. The same idea prevails among them: I can’t do anything about it, everything is lost. Hopelessness.

For example, a man in his mid-sixties was fired from a job he had held for decades. He loved her and achieved good results. And so the dismissal. Somewhere deep down he feels fear for his life, resentment for its destruction, guilt and powerlessness to fix anything. And the thought: “I will never find a job that suits me again! Who will hire me at 55?” With certain premorbid characteristics, that is, with a certain accentuation of character, a person begins, instead of direct, concrete actions to find a job, to think about the impossibility of finding it. The more he thinks, the more hopeless he feels. Why is that? A man believes, on the one hand, that his assessments, thoughts, and emotions carry impeccably accurate information about the state of the labor market and about life in general. On the other hand, before solving many of his problems, he was accustomed to planning their implementation in his mind for a long time. Therefore, he becomes more and more immersed in his own thoughts, which, in turn, give rise to sad emotions. This reality is increasingly causing hopelessness.

Fatigue occurs at the body level because a person spends more and more resources and energy on the difficult and, as it seems to him, very important process of thinking about his problem. As a result, sleep is disturbed, the mood becomes consistently depressed and melancholy. Appetite and libido are suppressed. It is difficult to interrupt this state of sensations and mood, because among the neurons of the brain a separate neural network is formed (or isolated), one might say, responsible for the habitual support of the same thoughts and emotions. Electric current circulates in it as usual, without much resistance. Thoughts and mood go in the same direction. Into hopelessness

But this process comes in waves. As stated earlier, it is often the case that depression does not feel like something that is permanent. Many sufferers feel worse in the morning and feel a little better in the afternoon. So why?

It seems to me that two explanations can be given here. The first is the general mood of the person. When depressed, he or she suffers, it seems to her, like no one else. A person’s consciousness is filled with guilt, powerlessness, sometimes envy of others who seem to be “healthy”, and accusations of insignificance. When a person goes to bed, he seems to be cut off from these feelings, this critical self-perception. Sleep becomes a beneficial escape from the terrible states of one's own mind. But after a person opens his eyes in the morning, memory immediately - immediately! – reminds: “You’re depressed, do you remember how it was yesterday? Most likely it didn’t go away, it’s about to start!” And it begins. Memory plays a huge role in the daily reproduction of a depressive state. The person plunges into it again. The mind again reproduces the state of depression, the body echoes it.

But little by little, a person, no matter how complex the real situation around him, becomes immersed in the affairs of the day and is at least a little distracted. Serves himself, communicates with someone, addresses someone. And little by little the focus of attention moves away from its main magnet, which has been attracting it since the very morning, from restraining its “negative” feelings, depression. The second half of the day becomes more balanced, more even. Not so sad.

There is a second possible explanation that does not contradict the first. It comes from psychophysiology. In our brain, and more broadly in our body, there is a so-called “long circuit” of hormonal responses to stress. If the first, “short circuit,” is associated with the production of the hormone adrenaline, which provides a quick “fight or flight” stress response, then the second, “long” circuit, is associated with the hormone

prolonged response to stress, cortisol. Cortisol, according to scientists, is responsible for the body's long-term adaptation to a new, more difficult situation. Among other things, it may increase anxiety, which is a sign of a stress reaction. By and large, cortisol is a hormone of activity and movement. Finding new paths and moving along them is the correct response to stress

Movement allows you to “burn out” excess cortisol and other stress hormones, reducing their amount due to the body’s activity in adapting to a new situation and thereby forming a new balance.

But cortisol has a certain trajectory of production. It begins to actively appear in the body around 6.00 am. At this point, the production of the relaxation and sleep hormone melatonin decreases, and the body receives the signal “Get up!”, “Start acting!” from the emerging cortisol. The peak production of cortisol in the human body occurs at approximately 12 noon and after this time its amount begins to gradually decrease again and this becomes noticeable after 14.00-15.00.

Therefore, it can be assumed that for people suffering from depression, a “bad” morning is an incorrectly perceived cortisol signal. Cortisol appears in their body and, as it were, calls them to an active life, because a new day has come and a new movement is needed. But those living with depression have a negative attitude towards movement and activity. They wait or pray for a change in mood, for everything to become “as before,” so that they will first have energy, and only then they will begin their activity. They don’t seem to notice the already existing energy provided by cortisol. The energy of life is blocked and spent on experiencing and containing negative moods and the horror of depression. Therefore, they react negatively to the appearance and call of cortisol to action; it contradicts their idea of themselves and the possibilities of their own activity. They feel better when the production of cortisol in the body begins to subside and its call to action fades, after 14-15.00.

In any case, a person can realize that no matter how hard it is for him in the morning, the morning is not his enemy. His mood, which is so uncomfortable for him, is not his enemy. It's just a feeling. And just thoughts. They are uncomfortable, they are painful, but they are just a creation of the mind. It is impossible to cut them off or extinguish them, but it is possible to take the focus of attention away from them, to stop giving the energy that feeds them. Small (from the beginning) daily tasks, even very insignificant and small, but performed with full attention, changes in your appearance, the arrangement of furniture, light exercise, and then, after a while, sports, observing nature, helping loved ones or colleagues... All this will lead to the fact that a person will be able to do something important even in a “bad” mood and in spite of it. And then this mood itself will begin to recede to the periphery of the mind.